Fear of flying affects some 20% of flyers, but I use these tips and tricks to begin to overcome mine.
When I’ve told people in the past, “I have a fear of flying,” I always felt like I wasn’t completely telling the truth. The truth is that, a) it’s not really the flying, but the lack of control, the height, the being at the whim of a huge piece of machinery and human error. And, b) it’s not so really so much a fear as an abject horror, terror, and massive flight-long panic attack.
That fear (and the fear of the fear) has kept me firmly attached to the ground, whether that is a car, train, or bus.
No caffeine before the flight
This was a tip I came across several times but have never tried before. I honestly felt like it was one of the most helpful. When your heart is already racing, why make it even worse with caffeine? It also helped to be a little sleepy during the flight because my body naturally relaxed.
No alcohol or drugs
This is, unfortunately, something I’ve learned the hard way. While prescription drugs in small doses help my anxiety, I really prefer not to take them if I can help it. I’ve drank alcohol several times before or while on a flight, and I’ve realized that it actually increases my anxiety.
Another reason I choose not to numb my anxiety during my flight is that trying to avoid an experience can only make it worse in the future. What really locked in my decision not to try to medicate away my fear was Soar by Captain Tom Bunn. He strongly advises to face your fear sober.
Meet the pilot and flight attendants
This was another tip from Captain Bunn, and it’s one of my favorites! I’ve asked to meet the pilots on my four last flights, and each time, they took a minute to speak with me. Every single time, I’ve left the flight deck feeling a lot less anxious. They’ve all told me what to expect on the flight, how long they’ve been flying, and even how routine and boring the flight is.
I also let the flight attendants know I’m a nervous flyer. They will almost always check in on me during the flight and let me know if something changes. I cannot stress this enough, but watch the flight attendants! If they don’t look scared, you definitely don’t have to be scared.
Familiar yourself with noises – or block them out completely
The last few times I flew, I didn’t have earbuds in (in part because I wasn’t flying alone), so I listened to all the noises the plane made, especially before and during take-off – the landing gear retracting, the “barking” on an Airbus, the engine noises. It was helpful to know what they were ahead of time so they didn’t make me anxious when they happened.
This last flight, however, I decided I was going to not focus on listening. I instead put on one of my favorite, happiest albums and listened to that during take-off. Once we got up in the air, I took out my earbuds for awhile. Once the anxiety started to pick up again, I was able to take it down with a guided meditation for flight anxiety.
Books to read
My number one book recommendation is Soar by Captain Tom Bunn. He is a pilot who left the industry to become a psychologist for people with flight anxiety. This book is currently available on Kindle Unlimited, so if you have a subscription, this is a great one to load on to your phone or Kindle.
I also like Cockpit Confidential and The Easy Way to Enjoy Flying. One thing I loved that the author said in the latter is that we do things all the time that are unsafe, and don’t feel anxiety (like smoking cigarettes or getting drunk), while flying is doing something objectively safe, but we feel anxiety.
Apps to download
There a ton of apps that are great for fear of flying, but these were the three I’ve used.
FlightAware – This one is great for seeing what’s going in the air in real time. I like seeing how many planes are flying right now, because it’s just more proof how common and safe flying is. I also like tracking my own flight in the days up to my flight, as well as watching it flying to my airport.
Soar – All sorts of great features, from showing how turbulent your flight will be to a G-force reader that shows you how safe you are, even on a bumpy flight.
Flying Calmly – Another great one for turbulence reports.
Treat yo’self
I splurged on a really nice carry-on bag for my flight. Having a new, fancy piece of luggage kept me excited, knowing that I couldn’t use it until then. If you want something nice but a little less pricey, I love Beis’s luggage, like this roller carry-on and this cute weekender. This suitcase from Mexistuff has the round, vintage shape of my suitcase, plus rollers, but it’s way more affordable. Also, check out Etsy for vintage luggage!
Also, getting to my destination and immediately getting coffee and cocktails? That was the perfect reward.
